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for diefirst
Somebody's Saviour
iamwinchester
He hasn't mentioned that he stopped off to put an angry spirit out of its misery on the way back from his two-day mini-roadtrip. He doesn't mention it because he doesn't want Cas to ask him why they didn't go together. Dean knows the answer will upset the other man, so instead he's bringing back supplies for what's going to be more freedom for Cas and some time they can use to look over the books he's picked up. He hasn't told Cas just how many libraries he's scoured since the wings appeared, but that's not important anyway. What's important is that he needs the answer.

When he steps foot through the door it's as he's slipping his cell back into his pocket. As much as he's not going to say it where anyone else can see or hear it, he's missed Cas too. But that much is obvious in the smile he's wearing as he sets his sights on the other man.

"Did I ever play you that song by Aerosmith?" He knows Cas didn't understand his reference from before, but he can probably change that by digging out the cassette he buried somewhere at the back of his collection.


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"That's from Hell?" It's all he says before he presses his palm up against the patch as though he can fix it. He knows it's way too late for that but it doesn't stop his palm from staying there. He doesn't work his fingers too hard over the feathers that are still there, his other hand automatically resting at Cas's hip to keep him where he is. He's free of all the scars he brought back from Hell thanks to the man on his lap. But he does have the one that's the most important now still visible on his arm.

He nods, just a little. "It was more than worth it. So before you even consider feeling guilty about any of it, remember that if things hadn't gone the way they did, we would have never met. And...I don't care how selfish it may be. I wouldn't change a thing that's happened." The worst part being that he really wouldn't. If Dean hadn't been 'The Righteous Man', Castiel knows they'd never have had a reason to meet, and he'd still be nothing more than a mindless soldier.

"You ever thought about..." He trails off there, not really sure what he's trying to say. Or how to say it. The whole thing is still huge to him, and the fact he doesn't know how things are going to turn out makes it that much harder.

"I dunno. Just kinda lucky it was you and me." Because he knows this wouldn't have happened otherwise.

"I think about a lot of things, Dean. You may need to narrow it down." He drops both of his hands back to the bed, both resting above Dean's shoulders. It's all the support he needs to lean forward, face inches away from the other man. He lets his wings hang loosely across the bed now, not caring enough to fold them back in. Not when the alternative involves getting closer to Dean again.

"I'm not sure I would have cared about anyone else even half as much as I care about you."

"How do you know? I wasn't exactly the nicest guy to be around." And he knows he's still not, but the issues he had with Cas are gone now too. He still feels the same way about the rest of the dicks calling themselves angels. That isn't going to change. He still can't imagine his life any different though. Apocalypse looming and all. He isn't quite sure where he'd be if it wasn't for this.

"You have to remember, Dean, that when I first met you, I knew just how important you would be in this battle. I could see into your soul, and no matter how much you may try to convince yourself otherwise, you've always been a good man. You're incapable of being anything but." He still doesn't move an inch, despite just how little effort it'd take to close the rest of the distance between them. "You survived your time in Hell and you still continue to fight for what you believe in. There are very few others like you out there. Why would I ever care about another person as much as I care about you? There's no one else like you out there."

He wants to say more but he knows better than that. Despite his constant complaints about it, he doesn't mind talking to Cas. He doesn't like talking about his feelings but that's all on him. It's not Cas, and if he's being honest, the other man is one of the very few people who isn't the problem. But he's still completely naked and turned on. Now isn't the time for talking. Not when they could be doing other things. Fun things.

It's not long before a laugh escapes him, born from the fact he knows Dean a little too well. He knows exactly what's on the mans mind, and it's for that reason he pulls his attention back toward trying to make the other man feel good. He starts to work a path across Dean's jaw, nipping slightly as his skin, only to follow each one up with a kiss or a swipe of tongue. He makes his way down his neck and to the center of his chest. Only once he's pressed a kiss over his heart does he stop again, reaching blindly for the bottle that lies ignored somewhere beside them.

If he didn't know for sure that Cas's Grace had gone, he'd swear the guy was looking into his head. He rewards Cas with a groan simply for knowing what's due to come next. Things have been just as hard as always on the both of them and it's knowing he'll get some sort of release from this, from Cas, that he smiles. He doesn't need to say anything to give the other man confirmation that this is exactly what's on his mind. And whether Cas knows it or not, there's something in his eyes nobody else has seen before.

As soon as he manages to find the tube, Castiel sits back up again, pulling over one of Dean's hands and holding it between them once more. He makes a point of making sure it's palm upwards, which helps when he finally opens the lid and squeezes some of the lube onto them. Smiling back at Dean, he takes his time to spread the gel over his fingers, before wiping one of his hands clean. The other will come in handy later.

"I think I learned what you meant." He ducks forward, another kiss being given as he raises his hips clear for what he knows will be coming soon. "I don't want you to... To fuck me any more."

"I haven't fucked you in a long time, Cas." And he has no intention of going back there. When he'd tried to explain the difference he was already past the point of return. He'd already shared too much with Cas to want anything less. And if he wasn't well aware of what's expected of him now he might make a smartass comment about being turned into a sappy little bitch, but Cas is waiting. 

The slicked up fingers don't waste a drop anywhere before they're exactly where they both want them, and it's not until he's pressed the fingertip of one against Cas's ass that he stops. There's no teasing involved now despite his lack of movement. All he wants is to watch Cas's expression when he finally does increase the pressure enough for that fingertip to slide inside the other man.

"I didn't understand that until last night." Thanks to his day filled with browsing the internet. He opens his mouth to explain, but the words don't come this time. Instead, it's just a hitch of breath as Dean presses his finger forward. Despite how long it's been since they last had sex, Castiel doesn't waste any time in pressing back against his hand, ignoring the slight burn in favor of getting this done.

"Hurry up."

There's the slightest hint of a smirk at the order. Mostly because that's exactly what it is. He doesn't like them but since it's Cas who's doing the ordering around, he figures he can let it go. Thousands of years spent taking orders and only now he's issuing his own. Dean can't take that away.

The finger that's been slow until this point presses in harder and faster but his eyes are still fixed on Cas's face. He likes watching him when they're doing this. Maybe it's the freedom he can see in every expression he likes the most. He's not saying either way.

A sound close to a whine breaks free, and it isn't long before Castiel's eyes squeeze shut. It doesn't hurt yet. Far from it. But he knows he won't be happy until Dean's inside him with something far better than fingers. When he pushes back this time, it's in an attempt at getting his point across. He just wants Dean to finish.

"More. I want you, Dean." He drops his head back down and onto Dean's chest again, putting himself into the perfect position to see both of their cocks. It's with a smirk on his face that he actually reaches out though, his lube-covered hand coming in to play a little sooner than he wanted. Instead, he wraps his fingers around Dean's dick, giving it a slow tug, eyes reopening to look up at him.

He's seconds away from pointing out his finger is still him, and that he doesn't want to tear Cas a new ass, but the words die the second he can feel a slick hand at his cock. This hasn't happened in a while, so he's not too bothered about how much his world seems to shift. 

He sucks in a hard, heavy breath of air and ignores how the room's hotter too. The brief flick of his eyes upwards is all he needs to gain eye contact again, and it's that extra, visual confirmation that Cas wants this now that spurs him into action.

His own hand pulls back from Cas's ass, the other one taking the lead and gripping at Cas's hip to try and pull him forward.

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