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for diefirst
Somebody's Saviour
He hasn't mentioned that he stopped off to put an angry spirit out of its misery on the way back from his two-day mini-roadtrip. He doesn't mention it because he doesn't want Cas to ask him why they didn't go together. Dean knows the answer will upset the other man, so instead he's bringing back supplies for what's going to be more freedom for Cas and some time they can use to look over the books he's picked up. He hasn't told Cas just how many libraries he's scoured since the wings appeared, but that's not important anyway. What's important is that he needs the answer.

When he steps foot through the door it's as he's slipping his cell back into his pocket. As much as he's not going to say it where anyone else can see or hear it, he's missed Cas too. But that much is obvious in the smile he's wearing as he sets his sights on the other man.

"Did I ever play you that song by Aerosmith?" He knows Cas didn't understand his reference from before, but he can probably change that by digging out the cassette he buried somewhere at the back of his collection.

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It's not long before a laugh escapes him, born from the fact he knows Dean a little too well. He knows exactly what's on the mans mind, and it's for that reason he pulls his attention back toward trying to make the other man feel good. He starts to work a path across Dean's jaw, nipping slightly as his skin, only to follow each one up with a kiss or a swipe of tongue. He makes his way down his neck and to the center of his chest. Only once he's pressed a kiss over his heart does he stop again, reaching blindly for the bottle that lies ignored somewhere beside them.

If he didn't know for sure that Cas's Grace had gone, he'd swear the guy was looking into his head. He rewards Cas with a groan simply for knowing what's due to come next. Things have been just as hard as always on the both of them and it's knowing he'll get some sort of release from this, from Cas, that he smiles. He doesn't need to say anything to give the other man confirmation that this is exactly what's on his mind. And whether Cas knows it or not, there's something in his eyes nobody else has seen before.

As soon as he manages to find the tube, Castiel sits back up again, pulling over one of Dean's hands and holding it between them once more. He makes a point of making sure it's palm upwards, which helps when he finally opens the lid and squeezes some of the lube onto them. Smiling back at Dean, he takes his time to spread the gel over his fingers, before wiping one of his hands clean. The other will come in handy later.

"I think I learned what you meant." He ducks forward, another kiss being given as he raises his hips clear for what he knows will be coming soon. "I don't want you to... To fuck me any more."

"I haven't fucked you in a long time, Cas." And he has no intention of going back there. When he'd tried to explain the difference he was already past the point of return. He'd already shared too much with Cas to want anything less. And if he wasn't well aware of what's expected of him now he might make a smartass comment about being turned into a sappy little bitch, but Cas is waiting. 

The slicked up fingers don't waste a drop anywhere before they're exactly where they both want them, and it's not until he's pressed the fingertip of one against Cas's ass that he stops. There's no teasing involved now despite his lack of movement. All he wants is to watch Cas's expression when he finally does increase the pressure enough for that fingertip to slide inside the other man.

"I didn't understand that until last night." Thanks to his day filled with browsing the internet. He opens his mouth to explain, but the words don't come this time. Instead, it's just a hitch of breath as Dean presses his finger forward. Despite how long it's been since they last had sex, Castiel doesn't waste any time in pressing back against his hand, ignoring the slight burn in favor of getting this done.

"Hurry up."

There's the slightest hint of a smirk at the order. Mostly because that's exactly what it is. He doesn't like them but since it's Cas who's doing the ordering around, he figures he can let it go. Thousands of years spent taking orders and only now he's issuing his own. Dean can't take that away.

The finger that's been slow until this point presses in harder and faster but his eyes are still fixed on Cas's face. He likes watching him when they're doing this. Maybe it's the freedom he can see in every expression he likes the most. He's not saying either way.

A sound close to a whine breaks free, and it isn't long before Castiel's eyes squeeze shut. It doesn't hurt yet. Far from it. But he knows he won't be happy until Dean's inside him with something far better than fingers. When he pushes back this time, it's in an attempt at getting his point across. He just wants Dean to finish.

"More. I want you, Dean." He drops his head back down and onto Dean's chest again, putting himself into the perfect position to see both of their cocks. It's with a smirk on his face that he actually reaches out though, his lube-covered hand coming in to play a little sooner than he wanted. Instead, he wraps his fingers around Dean's dick, giving it a slow tug, eyes reopening to look up at him.

He's seconds away from pointing out his finger is still him, and that he doesn't want to tear Cas a new ass, but the words die the second he can feel a slick hand at his cock. This hasn't happened in a while, so he's not too bothered about how much his world seems to shift. 

He sucks in a hard, heavy breath of air and ignores how the room's hotter too. The brief flick of his eyes upwards is all he needs to gain eye contact again, and it's that extra, visual confirmation that Cas wants this now that spurs him into action.

His own hand pulls back from Cas's ass, the other one taking the lead and gripping at Cas's hip to try and pull him forward.

He looks worried for a moment as Dean pulls free, but it doesn't take long for his mind to catch up on just what's happening. Sliding forward without any preamble, Castiel gives Dean's cock one last squeeze before he sets both hands back to the bed to hold himself up properly, letting his hips be guided around easily.

The new position also leaves him in the best place to then duck down and press his lips to Dean's once again, the kiss a little harder than he wants. It's due to that slight feeling of nervousness that comes with what they're about to do that keeps him from gaining control over himself.

He's taken by surprise at how hard the kiss is, one of his hands falling away from Cas's hip to cup his cheek instead. The heat rolling off the other man soaks through into his palm and it's not long before it slides down the side of his neck to his shoulder instead.

The wait seems forever despite already having waited for longer than he can remember. He likes sex, and now that he's a one-person kinda guy he can't get it anywhere else. For now, he doesn't want to. It doesn't solve the build up already knotting in his belly and he has to force himself to keep as calm as he can and go slow. After everything, he doesn't want to hurt Cas.

He nuzzles into Dean's palm briefly, expression turning a little upset by the time he breaks away. Sitting back upright again, Castiel stares down pointedly at Dean's chest, not looking back up just yet. He isn't backing out; far from it in fact. It's still all too clear just how ready he is to carry right on.

"I'm sorry." Reaching back out for Dean's hand again, he manages to offer up a smile, even as he squeezes his eyes shut again. "I want you, Dean. And I..." He trails off then, shuffling forward enough to be able to reach around behind him and grab ahold of Dean's dick. He's doesn't want to waste any more time than he already has, which is why he then lines himself up to take Dean in a single movement.

"The hell you sorry--" He gets most of his sentence out and then it's lost all over again thanks to what Cas is doing. He has no idea what the guy's apologizing for and while he wants to know, he also wants to be reminded of how Cas feels. It's something he's missed, and not just because it feels good. There's a lack of intimacy between them and he doesn't want it there anymore. 

He can't help his hips straining upwards as Cas lines himself up, the desire he feels raw in his eyes. He can barely think about speaking again when all that falls from his mouth is an unintelligible grunt.

He presses back in one go, sinking down until he's all but sitting in Dean's lap. Somehow, he manages to bite back any sounds of pain, and his ducked head helps to hide just how uncomfortable the whole thing was to do. He wasn't ready, regardless of what he wanted. Wings tucked almost protectively against his back again, Castiel already starts to try and move, knowing that it'll only get better that way. It always does, simply because it's Dean.

Once he's finally able to suck in a breath, Castiel guides Dean's hand to his dick, frowning at just how much the last few moments affected him. It wont last long though. He wont let it.

He's sure the ease at which he just slid into Cas has more to do with the fact he's slicked up and less to do with the fact the other man's ready. But he can't get to the question because he can't think of words. He can't think of any words. He can barely remember his name right now and he's stone cold sober. All he can do is let that lungful of air leave his body in something harsher than a sigh and weaker than a huff. Cas's name features awkwardly in the middle.

When he's aware of his hand moving outside of his own control, he doesn't so much snap back to the rest of the world as blearily stumbles into it. His fingers slide around Cas's cock because he could do this part in his sleep. He's done it so many times before he's lost count, so it's with a convincing stroke that he sets about fixing whatever's wrong.

ooc: Guh. Broadband. I've missed you.

The contact alone is enough to start pushing the discomfort down, and by the time Dean moves his hand, it's tucked far away in favor of focusing on the man beneath him. He finally looks back up at Dean again, but he doesn't let out the apology that's back on the tip of his tongue. He's too busy biting on his lip to keep from saying anything embarrassing. For either of them. Instead, he slides his hands back across Dean's chest, rising up onto his knees slowly, before sitting back again.

ooc; Hah it hasn't missed you.

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